HealthBridge's In-Home Care Blog

When you stop and think about it, talking to your parents about elder care is an act of appreciation, of love, of kindness.  You're having this talk because you're concerned about their well being and you want them to remain safely independent.  When "the talk" goes well, it can be a warm, enriching experience for you and your parents. 

Unfortunately, when it goes badly, it can set you back months, even years.  If the talk isn't done properly, your parents could wind up resenting you, despite your best intentions.  

How can you ensure you'll have a successful talk with your parents about elder care?  The first step is to avoid the major pitfalls that derail the conversation. 

Here are the 3 Big Mistakes You Should Avoid When Talking to Your Parents About Elder Care:

1. Going In Unprepared.   This one's a doozy.  Despite what they may have you believe, your parents are likely very aware that they could need elder care.  They've thought out the pros and cons as they've witnessed their friends move into assisted living communities or arrange in-home care.  Just because they're not going to bring it up, doesn't mean they're not prepared for this talk.  You need to get your ducks in a row before you have the talk.  This means having a prep meeting with those involved and creating a game plan.
   
   
2. Trying To Get It All Done At Once.  I know you've got a lot of concerns and you'd like to solve them all in this first talk, but small wins are very important.  If you try to take care of everything in one conversation, you'll end up not getting anything accomplished.  Even though you may feel a great deal of urgency to solve the big problems first, you will be much more successful over the long term if you start with something small.  An early win will serve you well along the way because it builds trust and gives your parents time to get used to the ideas. 
   
   
3. Lacking Persistence.  If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!  This conversation is a big deal and it often doesn't go well during the first conversation.  If your mom tells you she's absolutely, positively not going to have the talk today, that's OK!  Prepare again, review what you learned in your first attempt, and try again.  Your mom may simply need to be sure that you're serious about this before she takes you seriously. 
   

If you can avoid these three big mistakes when you talk to your parents about elder care, they'll be happy with the outcome and so will you. 

Free Guide:  How to Talk To Your Parents About Elder Care

Learn How To Talk To Your Parents About Elder Care.  

This Guide includes a presentation and two worksheets that will make your life easier and make this conversation go much more smoothly.  

Image credit:  malias